I used to be able to weeks without food, literately weeks without a single calorie and now I’m a fucking compulsive fat binge-eater. No self control whatsoever. I’m so fucking depressed about how fat I am. I just want my self control back, my tiny body, my little jeans. Protruding bones all over my body. Laying on a bed so uncomfortable with my hip bones digging into the mattress, the simple touch of my knees resting on each other woke me from a dead sleep. How did I ever get to be this size again. It’s so repulsive and shameful, I wish I could take a scissor to my thighs and cut off all the extra chunks. I’m so sick of feeling this helpless and worthless.